A Little Story

This is the shirt that Aaron loves.

It is his lucky interview shirt. He can't wear another shirt. He would have a terrible interview if he wore another shirt. He would stumble all over himself and insult the interviewer IF he wore a different shirt. This shirt does not go down the laundry chute. It may get dirty on the way down the laundry chute. This shirt is very special.

This is what I looked like when I realized that I had accidentally made a terrible dark blue streak across the collar of the shirt that Aaron loves the night before his interview.

These are the chemicals I used to scrub the shirt that Aaron loves after I accidentally made a terrible dark blue streak across the collar of the shirt the night before his interview.

This is the pillow I gratefully collapsed into after the shirt that Aaron loves was finally clean and laundered after I accidentally made a terrible dark blue streak across the collar of the shirt the night before his interview.

This is the child who woke me up exactly 30 seconds later because he was scared and needed his Mom even though it was 2 in the morning and she had been up half the night cleaning the shirt that Aaron loves that accidentally got a dark blue stain on it the night before Aaron's interview.

This is the shirt that Aaron loves.

I don't like this shirt.

A Grateful Heart -

I am having a difficult time with my gratitude post for today because I am sick. I hate being sick. Oh yeah and I can barely walk because I didn't know I would be sick today and so I did a new and very difficult work-out video yesterday and my thighs still feel like rubber. STILL. Gripe. Gripe. Moan. Moan. Get the idea? So today I am going to be grateful for the 98.3 % of the time that I feel healthy and energetic. May tomorrow be one of those days.

P.S. This is not a picture of me. I am not cute and adorable when I am sick. Like Meg Ryan in this movie. I really look sick. And I know you don't want to see it.

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A Grateful Heart - Music

"Gratitude is the beginning of wisdom. Stated differently, true wisdom cannot be obtained unless it is built on a foundation of true humility and gratitude." — Gordon B. Hinckley

I've recently started teaching piano lessons and the experience has brought back to memory my love for music.

Is it just me... or does music call back memories more powerfully than anything else? I have certain songs that I subconsciously link with different people and different times of my life. Barry Manilow will always remind me of my friend Tawni. I never hear a Beatles song without remembering my friend Alex. There is a Colors song called "The Reggae Song" that I first heard while driving home from Park City with my sister. That's when I decided that song was going on my wedding video. And it did. I have a certain song I listen to when I am sad ("I Wish It Would Rain") and a song I listen to when I feel happy ("Thank You Lord"). Finding a song that perfectly matches my mood is so awesome. I also have songs that bring back strong spiritual feelings. Songs that remind me about what is really important. There are times when for whatever reason I feel grumpy, discouraged, argumentative or stressed (I know.... can you believe it?) I have found that almost nothing works better than music to turn around the entire mood of the house. Not just me... but I really believe my children's mood can be lifted with music as well. One author wrote "The only proof [I need] for the existence of God [is] music." There really is something eternal.... a force beyond this world when it comes to good music. So here's to good music that has lifted all of our lives at some time or another.

A Grateful Heart - My Little Man

"When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude." — Elie Wiesel


And then came Andrew.... and my heart grew some more....

Writing about Andrew today is fun for me because I am just, kind of, obsessed with the kid right now. To me he is at an incredibly adorable age. His cute expressions, his sweet hugs and his funny conversations just melt my heart. When I think about being happy, I picture those moments when I am watching my kids play and I am laughing. If laughing counts for anything.... then I am supremely grateful for Andrew because he makes me laugh many many times a day. He has the cutest habit lately of putting his face right up to mine so our noses are touching. This is what he does when he wants to tell me something really, really important. And oh... I love Andrew's really important information. (i.e. Dinosaur ate horse and tiger and zebra ran away and hid and Dinosaur was sad.)
My favorite thing about Andrew right now, though, is his simplicity. His needs are not complicated. I have it within my power to kiss better every owie and soothe nearly all his troubles away. "I want Mommy" are words that I have mixed feelings about. I'm normal... I don't like to hear those words at 3 in the morning any more than you do.... but I have to admit that feeling needed and knowing that only I can fill that need.... well.... I like it. I think everyone needs to be needed. Andrew needs me..... I am his world ..... and for now... I kind of like it that way.
So today.... I'm very grateful for my baby... (who by the way is extremely offended at being called a baby... but sometimes I still like to think it.....)

A Grateful Heart - My Joy

"“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.” " — Denis Waitley

As I was thinking about my next gratitude post - I was thinking about how differently love comes. When it came to my husband.... my love was a choice. It came slowly and grew over time. I loved him because of his qualities that I admired. I decided that he was worthy of my love and I hoped to be worthy of his. With my children, however, it came differently. When I was pregnant with Lizzy I remember wondering if I would love my baby. I wondered if my heart was big enough to love this little child in addition to everything else I loved. And then she was born.... and I found that my heart didn't have to push something out to make room, it just grew larger. I had a greater capacity to love. My love for her was sudden and powerful from the moment I saw her. Perhaps it was the result of having her as a part of my own body for 9 months, but it seems that she is an extension of me. I know that is not completely accurate but sometimes it feels like it. Her joy is my joy and her pain is my pain. I love her simply because she is mine.

As she continues to grow, I've learned to love her for different reasons as well. I'm grateful for her compassion. I'm grateful for her imagination that entertains me everyday. I'm grateful for the way that she enjoys life and helps me to enjoy it as well. I'm grateful for the joy that she brings to mine and Aaron's families. I'm grateful for the way she absorbs knowledge and wants to know everything about everything. Today is my day to remember how grateful I am for Lizzy Joy.

A Grateful Heart - My Man

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." — Melody Beattie

I met my husband in highschool. It was a crush in the beginning. I thought he was cute... he thought I was easy to talk to. (Or simply that I made it easy for him to listen and not have to talk much.) We went to dances, watched movies together, studied for classes together and I felt good being around him. Fast forward through 2 more years of highschool, college, a mission, most of medical school, nearly 7 years of marriage and 2 children. This guy that sat one row over and two seats in front of me in English class has become a solid rock in my life. Our times together have been full of joy, romance, absolute bliss and also confusion, pain, struggle and hardship. And through it all... he has been there. Like breathing, I hardly think about his presence in my life anymore. He's just there.... keeping the oxygen moving through my body so that I can think and move and live. But today, when I take a moment to consider what I am truly grateful for.... he is right up there at the top of the list. I know this may be hard to believe but - he really loves me. Even though I "Dear Johned" him on his mission. Even though I disagree with him on many things. Even though I forget 9 times out of 10 to make him a lunch. Even though I can nag and argue with the best of them.... he loves me for exactly who I am. And that.... is the best gift anyone can receive.

So to summarize day one of my Grateful Heart project: I'm thankful for my husband.

Guess what I don't have to buy anymore.

I'm so excited. I'm jumping for joy... right now... as I type.... which is really kind of hard.

Besides...he's so cute in his little dinosaur underpants. I love it.