As I go through life I often find myself making the same mistakes over and over. It drives me crazy. I'll find myself in a ditch that I know I have been in before. Kind of like deja vu I'll sense that it is all very familiar, but I can't quite remember how I got out of it last time. For example I used to get into serious power struggles with Lizzy. I would eventually figure out what I needed to do to avoid those kinds of interactions, but over and over I forgot and got into them anyway. Eventually I went to my journal and wrote: THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT LIZZY. I then referred to that page ALL the time. It was so helpful to have a reference of things I know work and things that don't work. Here are a few things that I have found work for me (or don't work) and reminders that give me proper perspective in life.
1. Don't try to change my kids behavior. Change myself. Behave the way that I want them to behave. Don't lecture on kindness. Be kind.
2. It's okay for the kids to mess up. That is how they learn. Let them make mistakes and then learn from the consequences. Don't rescue them, don't lecture, don't threaten or guilt them into doing the right thing. Let them make their own choices and have experiences that only come from mistake making. (I am awful at this one.)
3. The more I treat my husband like he is a schmuck... the more he will end up acting like one. If I treat him like he is a rock star... then I end up being married to a rock star.
4. A clean house is nice. A happy family is even nicer. A clean house and a happy family may never actually happen at the same time.
5. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. (President Monson)
6. Every kid deserves to have someone believe that they are the most special person in the world. They won't remember most of what I tell them, but they will remember how I made them feel.
7. Be positive. Be with positive people. If you don't feel positive.... pretend until you do feel positive.
8. Don't go shopping with all of the kids... it always ends badly.
9. I am simply happier when I have fewer things on my schedule. Over scheduling always leads to being in a hurry, getting snappy and impatient with kids. Kids naturally move slow and allowing time for that makes everyone happier.
10. Remember that you soul needs nourishment too. Walk in the woods, visit the beach, head up the mountains or go to the park. It refreshes and invigorates me.
11. It's okay to take a nap. Naps are good.
12. Too much screen time makes for grumpy kids and a grumpy mom.
Whats on your list?
2 comments:
Thank you, thank you for your wise comments and great reminders. I can relate to every one of them and they are very inspiring.
I totally agree with every one of those!
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